How to Get a Restraining Order (Step-by-Step Protection)
If you are in immediate danger, call 911. For legal protection, a Restraining Order (or Order of Protection) forces an abuser to stay away from you, your home, and your job. The process usually starts with a Temporary Restraining Order (TRO) granted the same day you file. However, this is just a band-aid. To make it permanent (1-5 years), you must attend a formal court hearing within weeks. Here is how to navigate the system when safety is the priority.
1. The Rule: “Imminent Fear” Required
Judges do not grant orders for mere annoyance or rude texts. You must prove a specific threat.
Civil Harassment: Threats or stalking by a neighbor, roommate, or stranger.
Evidence Standard: “Reasonable proof” that you are in fear for your safety.
2. Which Order Do You Need? (Checklist)
Filing the wrong form can result in immediate dismissal.
| Relationship | Correct Order Type | Typical Filing Fee |
|---|---|---|
| Spouse / Ex / Dating | Domestic Violence RO | $0 (Free) |
| Neighbor / Stranger | Civil Harassment RO | ~$400 (Unless violence/stalking involved) |
| Co-worker | Workplace Violence RO | Paid by Employer |
3. Timeline: The “Danger Gap”
A TRO is only a placeholder. It expires automatically if you do not complete the next steps.
| Timeline | Status | Critical Action |
|---|---|---|
| Day 0-1 (Filing) |
Temporary | |
| Day 2-20 (Service) |
Vulnerable | |
| Day 21 (Court Hearing) |
Decision |
4. Strategy: Evidence & The Sheriff
“He said / She said” is weak. Evidence wins.
- Document Everything: Save text messages, voicemails, emails, and photos of injuries or property damage. Bring 3 printed copies to court.
- Free Service: In most DV cases, the Sheriff will serve the papers to the abuser for free. You must provide them with the abuser’s home or work address and a photo.
- The “Clean Hands” Rule: Do not contact the abuser after getting the order. If you text them, the judge may view you as not being in fear, and the order could be dismissed.
5. Warning: The “Move Out” Order
Kick-out orders are powerful but strict.
⛔ Residence Exclusion
If you live together, the judge can order the abuser to move out immediately (within minutes of being served).
- Preparation: Have the locks changed immediately after the Sheriff removes them (if allowed by your lease/law).
- Safety: Do not be home when the papers are served. Stay with a friend or in a shelter until confirmation.